I do not sleep well. Lately, it has gotten pretty bad. This is essentially my thought process while trying to fall asleep.
10:30pm – get home from work, slightly buzzed (free whisky shooters!), going to watch a movie, have a few beers, hopefully become more sleepy
Midnight – movie over, tired, should sleep, but what about porn?
12:06 – okay, I should be able to sleep now, just let me get my iPod. Bob Dylan sounds good tonight
12:12 – love me some Bob Dylan, but only for three minutes at a time, which is a problem since his songs are so god damn long. Let’s switch to something else, side B of Mean Everything to Nothing.
12:45 – well that’s over, let’s listen to Tyler, the Creator rap about raping people
1:01 – my ears hurt and I want to roll onto my side but headphones are severely against that type of movement. Ditch the iPod, it is podcast time.
1:10 – remember that video of the white kid raping Burgers to Tyler? I NEED TO WATCH THAT RIGHT NOW
1:23 – found it
1:24 – okay, that wasn’t really worth it, but while I have my phone out I might as well see what twitter/instagram/tumblr is up to
1:34 – Shelby Fero is funnier than me. I still don’t get tumblr.
1:49 – SIMPSONS DOT GIF DOT TUMBLR DOT THISISAMAZING DOT COM
1:52 – podcast time now. For real.
1:53 – Greg Proops keeps talking about movies and baseball and stand up and I really need to get back on stage but I don’t think I want to but I’m going to lay here and thing of all the bits I used to tell seven months ago.
2:23 – podcast over. Time to finish the other podcast I fell asleep to last night.
2:46 – that one is over too. This pillow is uncomfortable. Maybe if I lay on my back and listen to Kanye West on my iPod I’ll fall asleep.
2:49 – Has any rapper lived longer off of one single verse than Nicki Minaj on Monster? I need to finish my OKCWGKTA post so I can relate to zero of my friends again.
3:03 – I am really bad at this. I should probably write about it.
3:12 – Well, my timeline caught up with me. Now what? Kanye is getting boring. Blues? No, not drunk enough, plus I forgot to put the beer in the fridge.
3:14 – Ugh, why won’t anyone retweet me? I thought my pizza tweet was pretty funny.
3:16 – thank God I don’t have internet access on my laptop right now. Maybe I’ll just play a few games of freecell
4:17 – the sun comes up really early now. I hate you, summer equinox.
Captain Yellow Shirt 